A Scientific Explanation of Cramps

Hello, Sweetie. 

   In case you couldn't tell, the little pink thing is a stomach. I made a thing, and I'm very proud. 

   Also, I have started doing something new: green tea before I run. It was my dad's idea, actually, because I happened to mention that I always drink green tea with honey and lemon in the morning after I run. He suggested that I try doing straight-up green tea before I run, because he finds it physically impossible to run before he's had his coffee (I hate coffee with a deep and bitter passion). 

   So, last night, I made some green tea in a jar before I went to bed, and this morning, I drank some before I ran.  

   I realize now that this may be rather anticlimactic, because, seeing as I've only done it once, I can't report any real results (especially considering I was puking just yesterday. Stomach bug). 

   So, I am going to keep trying this week, and next week I'll probably be able to tell you how well it works. 

   

   Allons-y!

Discovery: Welcome to Night Vale.

Hello, Sweetie. 

I have discovered a wonderful thing. 

Podcasts. 

And my favorite one?

If you aren't listening, you should be. The podcast is a series of news broadcasts from the fictional, and very strange, little desert town of Night Vale. The radio host, Cecil, speaks about the various bizarre happenings (hooded figures, floating cats, invisible clock towers, the sheriff's secret police, the malicious city council, and, of course, the floating lights), along with his massive crush on the scientist Carlos. 

'Welcome to Night Vale' is witty, entertaining, and very funny. 

And the nice thing about listening to podcasts while I run? I focus on the amusing escapades of Night Vale's residents and architecture, rather than the massive amount of pain I still experience! 

So, long story short, listen to Night Vale. All hail the glow cloud. 

(I even attempted a bit of fanart, which was easy since, it being a podcast and all, no one really agrees on what Cecil looks like, so I could modify my favorite version of him. It includes glasses, fair hair, a third eye, and purple tattoos. Maybe I'll post some doodles later. I love my Cecil.)

Anyway, I've got to go to bed. Goodnight, dear readers, goodnight. 

Allons-y!

BAD CRAMP

Hello, Sweetie. 

BAD CRAMP. BAD CRAMP. BAD CRAMP. 

Pretty self-explanatory, actually. I have no flipping clue what happened. It happened after I had turned to go back, and it was bizarre, because it had no apparent cause. No illness, no lady problems, nothing. Yet I ended up with a being-dissolved-from-the-inside cramp. And the day after, I got another one, albeit not-so-bad. 

This has been a short post. I might as well stress the fact that it is still very cold. 

Ooh! Also, I think I might be kind of getting in shape or something! Whoop whoop! *showers of rainbow glitter and unicorns* *TARDIS vworping* *the Doctor arriving* *me running away with him forever* *etc*

Allons-y!

Lazy Blogger is Lazy

Hello, Sweetie.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE.

As things like this go, I suck. I am not a diligent blogger, and I never have been. So I'm scrapping the three-day-a-week plan, and scrapping the videos (except on special occasions). I am only blogging one day per week, and rants and playlists will happen at the same time. I really hope this plan works better than the last one did. 

So, here's a rant:

WINTER IN MONTANA BLOODY SUCKS.

I thought running was bad as it was, but trying to do it in bloody freezing wind and snow makes it a gazillion times worse. I lose feeling in most of my extremities and my face, and the wind majorly slows me down. 

It doesn't help that, since I practically live on a remote desert citadel, I have nothing between me and the wind. No trees, no bushes, no buildings. Just some dry grass and rotting fence posts. 

And, not to mention, the wind is always bad here anyway, and in the winter it gets worse. So add a below-zero temperature and some icy snow to that wind, and you've got it.

I wish I could quit running for the winter. 

Also, lazy blogger doesn't feel like a playlist. Sorry.

Allons-y!

Motivational Mondays 10.27.14: I HAVE RETURNED!

Hello, Sweetie.

To begin with, oh my gosh I'm so sorry I haven't blogged in so long but I've been gone and then I've been gone again and then I've been babysitting and then…well, it's been busy.

So, here's a basic rundown of what's been going on in my life the past few weeks.

Thing Number One:

I got to hug Matisyahu. Everyone go home.

I GO TO MEET MY HERO!!!!!!!!! I'm pretty sure my life is complete. For those of you who don't know, the dude in the picture is Matisyahu, my favorite singer, who makes it onto my playlists very often.

AND I GO TO MEET HIM!!!!

FREAKING OUT.

I'M STILL PROCESSING THE FACT THAT THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.





Other things that happened: me and my entire family went to Missouri, and I narrowly escaped having to 'jazzercise'. *shudder*

Oh, and another thing: I'm on a new running schedule. Now, I must run in the morning, before I even eat breakfast!

Now, needless to say, my initial reaction to this was something along the lines of NOPE


But believe it or not, there is an upside: I just get it out of the way and I don't have to worry about it!

(Also, apologies. I had a bunch of GIFs that I was going to add to this post, but Photobucket was glitching, so that was a no.)

Anyway....

Allons-y!

Ugh

Hello Sweetie.

It's four o'clock in the morning.

Can you tell by my unphotogenic and tired face?

In other words, there will be no blog this week.

Allons-y.

(Oh, I wish I could go back to bed)

Motivational Mondays 9.26.14: Running Outfit

Hello, Sweetie.

So. Last week I promised you outfit. This week, you can have it.

Though I'm not sure I really want to give it to you.

I know I look good. I know.

It's not even that I look that terrible. I am okay with my body, and I don't feel too insecure about it. Most of the time.

It's just that I feel like once I put on the Adidas shirt with the mesh sides, the weird shorts that are way to short, and the shoes that I would never wear in public…I feel like once I put all of that on, I will become the kind of person I've never been, and never wanted to be.

In my opinion, there are more important things in life than fitness and sports. Now, I'm not against it, but It gets on my nerves when people become completely hyper focused on, well, mainly sports.

See, where I live, you are nothing if you don't play sports. I'm homeschooled now, but when I went to public school, it was hard, because I am not a sporty person. So, because I didn't share that common interest with everyone else, I was outcast (there were other reasons, too, but, you know).

So I am a bit prejudiced as far as what wearing this makes me look like.

And I know that what I wear won't change who I am. I know that I'll be the same person whether I'm wearing this ridiculous running getup, my favorite Matisyahu t-shirt, or one of my medieval gowns. And I know that even what this makes me look like doesn't matter. What other people think can't define me.

But it's hard. It's hard to become something that I've never wanted to be.

So. There y'are. This post was a bit more…you know…serious, than normal.

But at any rate, goodbye.

Allons-y!

Saturday-Is-Playlist-Day #3

Hey! I'm not late with the playlist this week!

1. King Crown of Judah (feat. Shyne and Ravid Kahalani), by Matisyahu

2. Neighborhood #2 (Laika), by Arcade Fire

3. Look Down, by Les Miserables Cast

4. Gobbledigook, by Sigur Ros

5. Run, by Snow Patrol

There. This playlist was a bit rushed. Enjoy.

Allons-y!

Thursday Complaints 9.26.14: Bad Hair Day feat. Mom

Halloo! Welcome to Thursday Complaints!

'Cept, it's not actually Thursday. It's Friday.

I'm sorry!

This has been, like, 'week of the late posts'.

But anyway, here ya go.

Pre-Run Griping:

Midpoint Pain:

Post-Run Misery:

Allons-y!

Motivational Monday 9.22.14: Terrain Complain

You know what sucks?

Physics.





It would be very, very nice if it was self-evident that you maintained the same pace at all points during your run.

Instead, you end up accidentally going to fast on the way down the hill (it's pretty darn inconvenient), and then slowing down when you get to flat ground (that's the easy part), and then feeling like you're trying to scale a cliff when you have to go back up the hill (kill me now).

Oh, yeah, and while I'm complaining, has anyone else had the whole 'not-being-able-to-breathe' problem? Like, It really starts to hurt, and I get panicked, and then I can't breathe, and then thinking about the fact that I can't breathe just makes it harder to breathe, and it is an altogether unpleasant experience.

Advice would be appreciated.

(P.S. Coming next week: an analysis of my horrific running attire (but this time it's new))

Okay.

Goodbye.

Allons-y!

Post-Script:
Wait a minute, are there people who actually read this rubbish?

That's weird to think about.

But at any rate,

Saturday-Is-Playlist-Day #2

Sorry this is late! On Saturday I was at a memorial service for my great-grandfather. But anyway, have your late playlist!

1. Resistance, by Muse

2. All Is Whole, by Whitley

3. Orion (Instrumental), by Metallica

4. Lazy Eye, by Silversun Pickups

5. Animal Rights, by deadmau5

(oh, hey, let's play a game. It's called 'spot the metal song'.)

(It couldn't be the one my Metallica, could it?)

(Nooooo….)

(Just to clarify, I don't really like metal, but for running, my dad swears by that song)

Thursday Complaints 9.18.14: Rad Outfit

It's Complaint Thursday again. Brace yourselves.

Note: I own no running clothes whatsoever. Hence, the very strange, ugly, and atypical outfit that you see on my body.


Pre-Run Griping:



Midpoint Pain:

Post-Run Misery:

















Allons-y!

Motivational Monday 9.8.14: Lady Problems

Note: If you're a dude, this is not gonna be very applicable, but not particularly graphic, either. You just might not care.

Hello, internet-friends.

This week, there was a complication.

I started my cycle.

It happens, it happens. It is most definitely not pleasant, but infinitely less so when you have to go on a run.

Not, I'll start with saying that I do not have characteristically unpleasant periods. Usually, they're pretty mild. I don't get very sick, or get a lot of cramps, or other unpleasant things that other women have more of a problem with. The worst thing that usually happens to me is that I always get two or three zits directly on the tip of my nose. But that's it.

But this week, I had to go on a run. I forgot about the whole cycle thing until I was already running, or else I would have pleaded 'lady time' and my dad might not have made me go. But I didn't. So five minutes into the run, my abdomen exploded with pain.

Cramps. Cramps is what happened. Cramps. Bloody, bloody cramps. Awful, movement-incapacitating cramps. I literally could not run. So I hobbled to my regular turning point, and hobbled back.

I'll have you know, as well, that the cramps did not go away for the entire rest of the bloody day. I hardly moved, because every time I even twitched, pain stabbed through my gut.

Moral of the story: Never, ever, ever, ever run while on your cycle. Ever. Unless…well, no. Nothing short of the TARDIS landing in my yard could cause me to do that again.

Of course, in case of TARDIS, I might be on my cycle, have two broken legs, a sprained ankle, the flu, a headache, and have been shot several times, and I would still sprint for it. But, c'est la vie.

That's all for today.

Goodbye.

Allons-y!

Saturday-Is-Playlist-Day #1

So here's a forewarning: I don't listen to a ton of 'upbeat' music. But, I will do the best I can.

1. It's Never Over (Hey Orpheus), by Arcade Fire

2. Confidence (feat. Collie Buddz), by Matisyahu

3. Kids, by MGMT

4. Vow of Silence, by Matisyahu

5. Around The World, by Daft Punk

Enjoy!

Allons-y!

Thursday Complaints 9.11.14: Hello

First of all, it's 9/11. So that really sucks. In fact, I will put nothing but ellipses for three lines in remembrance of those who died. Because dying sucks, and it shouldn't happen nearly as often as it does.

…

…

…

Now, on to the Thursday Complaints. I'm hesitantly planning on updating Cramps three times a week: Motivational Mondays, Thursday Complaints, and then Saturday-Is-Playlist-Day. It is obviously Thursday. Here are three short videos of me complaining.

Pre-Run Griping:

Midpoint Pain:

Post-Run Misery:

Thanks for tolerating.

Allons-y!

Motivational Monday 9/8/14: "Run!"

Hallo!

This is my first post on this blog. Hopefully it goes well. But, knowing me...well, it might not.






I will start by telling you the circumstances of this forced physical activity.






A few weeks ago, my brother Moses decided that he was going to be a goody-goody and excersize!






His plan was to do pushups and runs on alternate days.






This went quite well (for him).






But then my parents decided, oh, fitness, we want you to be healthy, and Jada needs to run too!



So four days ago I was sitting peacefully in my chair, strumming on my guitar (I had decided to learn how to play 'The Scientist', by Coldplay), when my father comes up to me and says,






"Don't eat anything. We are going on a run."






I fiercely objected, my argument containing the points

• But I'm hungry.
• We tried this before. I don't run.
• I walk with my feet turned unnaturally far outwards, it hurts my ankles to run.
• I do not feel good thinking about running.
• I do not feel good while I am running.
• I do not feel good after I am finished running.
• Running does not make me feel good.
• I can ride my bike! I like to ride my bike!
• What's the big deal, anyway? I've been drinking water lately and I'm not fat.
• Well, not really.
• Also, you said you wouldn't make me run after we tried it before!

Among others.






Did he listen? Noooooope.






You see, my father is obsessed with running, chiefly so after he read some kind of book about how humans are born to run and whatever mumbo-jumbo people who enjoy running want to hear. So, since he likes to run, he has this absurd idea that everyone should like to run.






This is not the case.






But, as I was brainstorming possible ways to checkmate him in the argument, something came to me.




It was one word. It was the first word of my beloved 9th Doctor, in fact.




The word was "Run!"




I love Doctor Who, and I maintain a belief that, someday, the Doctor will come for me. But being with the Doctor...well, it involves a lot of running. And, as I see it, the only good thing that could possibly come out of this experience is that, when the Doctor comes for me, I will be able to keep up.




So this is a blog about running, as blogged by a fifteen-year-old nerd girl who loves to read and hates to run.




This blog will probably contain

1. Complaints about my running experiences
2. Examples of things that make running less horrendous.
3. Playlists of music for running, because apparently it helps
4. Small, short stories that illustrate why I hate to run.
5. And inspiration from various nerdy places.

So, welcome to Cramps. I hope you enjoy your brief stay.




Thank you.




Allons-y!